Hoobastank, the Reason.

Real lyric: “a reason to start over new”.

What i heard as a child: “the reason tostadas are new”

I always thought she said trampoline

“My lovers got no money, he’s got his trampoline!”

At one point in Another One Bites the Dust, Freddie says “Bite the dust, yeah” which for years I could not hear as anything but “I’m adopted”. Seemed like a weird way to share that information.

Crosby, Stills, and Nash - Southern Cross

“Who knows love can endure” --> “Who knows love Ganondorf”

Obviously not the correct lyric but they clearly end “endure” with an F sound somehow

Elton John - Your Song

I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind
That I put down in the words
How wonderful life is
While you’re in the world

I misheard the “world” as “woods”, as in, someplace far away, which changes the entire point of the song. The lyrics in this part starting with “I hope you don’t mind that I put down in the words” imply a change of tone to something regretful, so a line to recontextualize that that the PoV character doesn’t actually feel close to their supposed love would fit; but I guess that wasn’t the intention.

I still say it makes slightly more sense in Otherside if he’s saying “the cemetery where I married a thief”.

I can’t think of any off the top of my head, but this bit by Peter Kay always has me in tears.

Also, the technical term is ‘Mondegreen’

Edit: I’m also reminded of a Colin Hay one man show I went to years ago where he told a story about a bloke that requested the ‘song about the goats’ at a gig. Turns out it was Overkill - “Goats appear and fade away”. He then went on to tell a long story about a sharehouse he lived in in his youth that decided to get a goat to keep the lawn down. Man that was a good show.

Owner of a lonely horse…

Real lyric: owner of a lonely heart.

I never understood why there’d be a song about a lonely horse.

Pump Up the Jam - Technotronic

At first I heard, “I want, a player Tuesday.”

Then I heard, “I want, a player to stay.”

Apparently it’s actually, “Awa, a place to stay.”

That whole time I thought she was looking for a man (on a Tuesday), but she just wanted everyone to dance together.

I always thought Gala said Stromboli (he’s got his Stromboli…) which would make half sense since she is italian

Dwight Yoakam - A Thousand Miles from Nowhere

For a chunk of my childhood, I always heard, “I’ve got heartaches in my pocket, I’ve got pickles in my head,” rather than “echoes in my head.” To this day, it’s hard to unhear it.

Timestamp link to relevant part.

For like a decade+ I thought Umbrella by Rihanna went “under my arms forever”

That Land Down Under song. I still have no idea what the women or men do but I can hear the thunder.

“She got too close, so I farted.”

Zac Brown Band, “Knee Deep”

“Take off for nowhere” rather than “Take my breath away”

“Every time you go away, you take a piece of meat, with you” - Paul Young