• MeatPilot@lemmy.worldEnglish
    312·
    4 days ago

    I have always said when you really think about statements your relatives/friends make, they are just nice ways of saying really personal topics.

    Nice: Isn’t it time for you to work on having a baby?
    Unfiltered: Are you going to get rawdogged a few times until your eggs get fertilized?

    Nice: Boy it must have been a cold winter.
    Unfiltered: You fucked a lot 9 months before September didn’t you?

    Nice: You should experience being a parent! We can have playdates together.
    Unfiltered: You should have a child so you can understand the horror I went through and we can trauma bond.

  • AmazingAwesomator@lemmy.world
    28·
    4 days ago

    i have no idea how many times i had to tell my parents and grandparents that we have decided to not have children, but over the course of ~6-8ish years, it was consistently asked more than once every time we saw each other.

    was not a big fan of having other people’s wants being thrust into my life as if they are more important than my own.

    thankfully, still kid free at 41.

        • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
          8·
          3 days ago

          Rising global fascism, rising global temperatures, enshittification creeping into every possible facet of life both on-line and off-line…

          This is a scary fucking place to try to raise a kid. I wish I lived in this hypothetical universe where I “changed my mind” about having kids as I got older - that place must be amazing. Instead every passing year, and every passing headline, reaffirms my decision to remain child-free.

          I wish my mind could be changed on this. I love kids. Growing up, I always thought I would be a parent. But after working 40 hours a week, I still can’t find affordable rent, I still wear old clothing full of holes, I still settle for a protein bar or crackers as “lunch,” and I still have to pay a deductible for my medicines even though I pay nearly $100 to my health insurance company every goddamn paycheck.

          This life is a scam. Like hell am I bringing kids into it.

  • lordnikon@lemmy.worldEnglish
    29·
    4 days ago

    I see not having children is a form of harm reduction at this point. We only have a few more years before we are choking on dust storms and famine. I don’t want to put a child through that.

    I will be the first person to be happy to be proven wrong and do what i can to try and not have that happen but I’m not willing to gamble the suffering of my child on it not happening.

    • FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world
      15·
      4 days ago

      I have the same thoughts. Until the world starts to improve (I doubt it will) I can’t bring a life into this world knowing they’ll have to suffer. If I find myself in a position where I really want kids, then I’ll adopt and make someone else’s life better (hopefully)

      • lordnikon@lemmy.worldEnglish
        7·
        4 days ago

        Great answer with regards to the adoption. reduction of suffering is our generation’s only option.

  • Treczoks@lemmy.world
    28·
    4 days ago

    There is this short moment in time between “Don’t you touch my daughter” and “when will we have grandchildren”…

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
      4·
      3 days ago

      It’s wild how so many people can hammer an idea into others, change their mind out of the blue, and then hammer the opposite idea in without any recognition of the switch they made.

      It reminds me of how, before puberty, every issue I had was dismissed by my parents as “silly kid problems.”

      But the moment puberty hit, my parents were all, “You know if you have a problem, you can come to us with ANYTHING, right? Right?! LITERALLY ANYTHING. TELL US EVERYTHING” They went from not giving a shit about my concerns throughout my entire life, to expecting me to magically open up and be super budsy with them about personal issues.

      No, you spent my formative years telling me my problems weren’t important. The only thing you taught me about “dealing with problems” is not to come to you when I have them. Which means I was forced to figure out everything for myself, without your input, and now you think you deserve to be privvy to what’s going on in my life? GTFO of here! That ship has sailed, and you’re the ones who sent it off.

      They never did acknowledge the difference in their behavior, just flipped like a switch and didn’t understand why I didn’t flip along with them. I imagine that happens around a lot of “milestone” events (puberty, reaching adulthood, graduation, marriage, etc.) Parents suddenly see their kid differently, but the kid still feels the same. It can be pretty jarring.

  • ButteryMonkey@piefed.socialEnglish
    122·
    4 days ago

    One of the few reasons I’m glad I don’t have living parents.

    I think my mom would have understood tho. She also never wanted kids and had 2 and sucked at it (she didn’t have my sister intentionally, and should have stopped, but then had me on purpose, and I got all her autism and all my dads adhd! So I was fun to raise!) and is why I got my tubes tied before ever being pregnant.

    But in fairness all of the dudes I’ve dated… their moms have been like yeah I wouldn’t want to raise kids with my kid either, don’t blame you.

  • Meeech@lemmy.world
    1·
    3 days ago

    My wife and I used to get those questions from the family. They promptly stopped asking after my wife told them “when he’s done making me his hoho and starts making me his twinkie”. It always took a few seconds before it clicked. Their reactions to finally getting it were priceless.

  • shalafi@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    4 days ago

    Meh, I get it. They want babies again, babies that are very much their own. Also, we hope to correct the mistakes we made with brood 1.0.

    My kids are 10 and 12 so I probably won’t live long enough to see grand kids, but I sure ain’t pressing the issue.