“Please, Trump, stop winning.”

Astounding that he actually managed to deliver on that promise.

I knew this year’s awards were a joke the second I saw Starfield nominated for (and subsequently winning) ‘most innovative gameplay.’

…Is the ‘harsh wake-up call’ that they need to look for a better employer? Asking for your employees to push themselves harder is what we in the business call “Whining.”

I mean, the point of the special is to find meaning in the holidays regardless of the rampant consumerism, but the impact of the message is dampened a bit by Hallmark putting out new charlie brown Christmas tree ornaments every year.

That said, it’s also okay not to have holiday spirit if you don’t find anything about this time of year meaningful. For many who aren’t practicing Christians, it’s a time to be with family because most companies tend to give days off anyway, but for those of us who have cut ties and don’t see the significance of decorating and whatnot, it’s perfectly fine to enjoy the time off without feeling festive.

Can’t get that sweet sweet ad revenue if your content isn’t 100% in line with advertising expectations. God forbid there are any deviants on a site that positioned itself as weird and quirky for the first decade of its existence.

I was going to make a crack about them inventing a time machine to get Big Macs from like 20 years ago, but I actually kind of wish they’d bring back the angus 1/3rd pounder, those burgers were great.

It’s a very efficient system.

https://www.zombo.com/

For younger generations. Lovingly remade in HTML5 because flash is dead.

Seconded by Terry Davis

Slowly turning into a Life in Hell strip

Oh thank god, I was worried brows would continue to remain unfurrowed.

In a short story, the monkey’s paw is an artifact that grants three wishes of the person who holds it, albeit in the worst way possible.

The story goes that a pensioner and his wife receive the paw from some guy who warns them that the paw twists the wishes, but they pay the warning no mind and wish for a sum of money. A finger on the paw curls, and a factory foreman shows up with the money explaining that their son has died of a horrific mutilating accident in the factory. The insurance policy pays the money out to the surviving members of the family.

The wife wishes that their son were alive again, another finger curls, and a few hours later they hear another knock at the door. The wife rushes to welcome their son, however, recalling the stranger’s warning and imagining how terrifying the mutilated body of their son might look, the father uses the last finger to wish the son dead and buried again. Incidentally, there doesn’t appear to be a negative on that wish apart from the horror that’s already been visited on them.

I mean, okay, but how much of anything can get hit by lightning and not be a smoldering crater without proper grounding and such?

Of course without committing a crime before and without saying anything else.

You will probably commit a crime or misdemeanor unknowingly on the way to the station. There is a reason you do not talk to the police, even if you think you’re completely innocent.

https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE?si=ppgOcO6ZcOVPC0oB

Funnily enough, I do feel like an adult, mostly because I’ve been aware enough for long enough that everyone else is making it up as they go, that I can sense when people are on their bullshit and navigate it pretty effectively.

Also I’m making a lot of decisions that will hopefully insulate me from the consequences of my inevitable failure, but I hold no delusions that the safety net will ever be perfect or even good, or that some arbitrary amount of austerity would have bought me a house at this point, so I don’t starve myself of the little pleasures in the moment - today is the rainy day. I use my PTO, I get a little treat every once in a while, and I make myself as comfortable as I can. My life satisfaction has increased drastically with that in mind.

It’s an unfortunate fact of life, you’ll find sycophants no matter where you go.

Having all the existing connections probably doesn’t hurt either. If your daddy already knows the people who will make your budding enterprise a success, you have a lot lower chance of missing that dart toss. Not zero, but it’s like getting to take three big steps over the line.

Because having money blunts your empathy.

Used to work in a painting hangar and guys would regularly pilfer supplies. For most people it was just touch up brushes or minijet cups for minor stuff at home, but some people would be stealing whole rolls of masking tape, suits and hoods, sandpaper, bottles of rubbing alcohol and acetone, etc.

I know at least one guy who confided in me that he made a mint stealing supplies and painting cars on the side. He said the only thing he paid for was paint. I think the only reason nobody ever got called out on it was because our work was so good we were a preferred painter for UAE and Qatar planes, so everyone in the C-Suite was making millions of dollars and paying jack shit to the workers, and I’m guessing they figured the shrinkage was an acceptable cost of doing business.

Lol you think anyone gives 100% effort to their job? Not even the CEO cares that much.