Spykee

@[email protected]
@[email protected]
@[email protected]
@[email protected]
@[email protected]
@[email protected]

Here’s you go my man. Extra wide for extra play area.
I can’t reach that angle with my phone, else I would’ve sent you my own.

Hell yeah!
…and nobody cares when I carry my own fleshlight publicly.

\

You couldn’t even if you tried.

.
Because why not?

Belly button.
.
.
.
Yeah, so what? You gonn kink shame me now, huh?

#justice for pillows

hmu

You would have been closer to Daddy Trump.
So, a lot more of life sucking and a lot less pretty boys to fawn over.

You don’t think French do weird shit all the time?
Maybe you are French yourself.

How you doin?

Wait,
So I, a devout worshipper of my partners jingle-jangles, am automatically going to heaven because I’ve been making him my bitch in my throes of passion every weekend?
…thus are you also saying that there would be many like me in heaven, again, for me to make all of them my bitches???
I think I’ve started liking this religious thing.

…and I used to be good, really good.
Life fucks everybody, you aren’t special.

I have balls-scrunching anxiety.
So any kind of public speaking means I shit my pants.
I gave a presentation today & I only got scared shitless at the beginning. After those first 2mins, things went well.
Mind you, I had previously left mid-way from one such presentation with the same people, making a stupid excuse.
Felt nice.

Good bot.

Oh boy, I don’t know how to break it to you.
This is not good bro.
I’ll tell you what this is.
It’s a classic case of asking strangers on the internet some medical advice. You clearly have the aggressive form of stupid bro.
There’s just one cure.
A hard smack to your favourite side of the head and then, without fail, a visit to the local doctor, as a follow up.
Repeat as required.

You need help bro.
…and hookers.
Maybe spend a few days surrounded by Alt-Chicks titties while being choked on by their thighs.
It will warm up your soul.
.
Or alt-dudes, whoever makes you loose.

Change of plan.
I am now schooled on preferring positive physical greetings.
But I appreciate your input.