My wife’s family is extremely health conscious and typically eats like rabbits. There’s not a dish they have encountered that couldn’t be “improved” with a metric fuck ton of broccoli, kale, onions, zucchini, etc. But they also love brownies. It is typically their only indulgence at family get togethers.
But instead of using eggs and oil in the mix like it calls for, they substitute those evil fats with applesauce instead. It kind of sort of works from a textural standpoint, but it definitely still tastes vaguely of applesauce which is not super desirable in a chocolate brownie. Ostensibly the idea is to make it “healthier” and lower calorie. But given all the sugar and other carbs in the batter (including the added sugar from the apples) the calorie difference is negligible but the end result is not the same at all. It feels like they missed the point and messed up the brownies for no reason at all. Doesn’t stop them from calling them “healthy brownies” though. Stretching the definition of “healthy” reeeeaaaal far.
To quote The Good Place:
There’s something so human about taking something great and ruining it a little so you can have more of it.
Suggest to them to use pureed pumpkin instead. My wife does that and I can barely tell.
My father used to make delicious pumpkin Marmelade. I couldn’t get enough of that stuff.
and typically eats like rabbits
They eat their own poop?
I doubt OPs friends are Ethan’s Kliens family.
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How is cake unacceptable for breakfast?
I mean, even a vegan has to appreciate the power of cake.
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If you can digest it then it’s food, the chemical furnace demands more fuel.
Devoured MRE wrapper included
Have you tried adding blueberries to it, they are an anti oxident
But we need oxygen
But what if we flatten the cake and fry it in butter instead of baking it? Surely that would be healthy, right?
Hang on. It’s a little bland. I’d better pile more butter and liquified sugar on top.
It’s perfect. Sweet, savory, pan fried cake.
Panfriedcake. That’s what we’ll call it
Those are called pancrepes I think
Deep fried cake covered in sugar is the quintessential American breakfast food.
muffins are deep fried?
Pancakes with syrup
I’m talking about doughnuts.
Brought to you by the same people who say donuts are acceptable breakfast
Well, any number other than zero is infinitelly greater than zero.
My wife … a salad is healthy
Goes on to make a salad fit for a serving of four people filled with ranch dressing, cheese, bacon and nuts.
I love her dearly but she absolutely refuses to admit to a smaller salad.
I also make fat girl on a diet salads, but I am aware of what I am doing with no illusions about how healthy it is.
The lady over here: I must buy the thinnest sliced cheese permissible by physics. Also my tea shall be served in a bucket with 3 cups of honey stirred in.
We have all been damaged by the world in some way.
lol … I was visiting a friend who was in the hospital over a period of about a month … all of us had to go stay with him to help the family.
At one point, I got to know the nurses on the floor and I started offering to buy people coffee just to be nice. I thought if I were nice to them, they would be extra nice to my friend getting treatment.
Everyone was pretty average with their orders but some of the nurses were pretty strange. One overweight nurse asked for large triple triple (triple cream, triple sugar) … but the best one was a short petite lady that weighed about 80lbs but tough as nails … she asked for extra large 7 cream, 8 sugar (nicest lady ever but I just could not believe the kind of coffee she drank, it was basically a milk shake with a shot of coffee)
It’s ok, I believe chocolate also has antioxidants so it’s healthy too!
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I’m pretty sure chocolate might have some caffeine too
Double healthy!
That’s why I make my coffee as mocha, it’s a health drink!
If anything, the chocolate chips are healthier than the blueberries, since chocolate has more antioxidants than blueberries.
Spoiler: Those usually are not blueberries, they are sugar beets.
Pro tip for baking modern American recipes is you can cut about 1/3 of the sugar no problem, up to 1/2 on some recipes. Bran goes really well with blueberries. The blueberry muffins I make are basically lightly sweetened wheat bread and they slap. Muffins are a quick bread but somewhere along the line people wanted to lie to themselves and eat cupcakes while pretending they’re still muffins
You should see some of the “blueberry” muffins they sell at the store nowadays. It’s not even blueberry let alone fruit. Some are so bad and cheap it’s just fruit flavored pellets with the packaging saying “Blueberry flavored” muffins.
