• ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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    1 year ago

    It appears they use putting your preferred pronouns as a litmus test for users on their instance; recent years have well demonstrated this is a bridge to far for sizeable portions of the internet and meatspace alike.

    So my guess is there’s something to that.

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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      1 year ago

      On the Internet, pronouns should be irrelevant, just use they/them or “the OP” if needed. The only time pronouns are needed imo is for actual, personal discussions. If you need to refer to a poster that’s not the thread poster, you’re probably using lemmy incorrectly.

      If someone posts them and I bother to look, I’ll probably try to use the correct ones. Otherwise I’ll just avoid pronouns and use they/them if I really need to.

      So requiring it just makes it easier for me to tell someone is from hexbear and is more likely to post stupid emoji than actually post something interesting (that’s been the case so far), so I don’t think much of value would be lost if we defederated. I’m against defederation though, especially since it’s so easy to detect.

      I’m 100% in support of the lgbtq+ community, I just don’t think we need pronouns on the Internet. Just make a community rule to avoid pronouns instead, especially since there’s already a stupid culture of assuming everyone is male on the Internet. Moderate that and people will adapt to gender neutral language on the Internet.

      • ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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        1 year ago

        Probably not necessary, no. Though they allow for the pronoun to be anything so it could be username/username and that would be fine as far as I know.

        Disallowing pronouns via a community rule probably has as much of a counterproductive aspect as requiring them. Make it a rule and you get users reporting users for failing to use gender neutral language. It’s the same effect but inverted I think.

        It’s always been a sort of opt in type thing at best. If you want to declare them go ahead. It just means some people will insist on honoring it and others will insist on dishonoring it, because rarely are pronouns actually relevant to a typical conversation: they’re just a metric of how polite or respectful people are willing to be with each other because, well internet. Hopefully most people recognize it as it should: no big deal.

        People don’t have the same reaction if they affix a Mr. or Mrs.to their username, interestingly enough.

        • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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          1 year ago

          I don’t think there should be a rule either way, but instead a community guideline to avoid pronouns in general if they’re not known, or to use they/them if absolutely necessary.

          The only rule related to this, imo, should be civility. If you’re intentionally misusing pronouns, that should be against the rules, not because of pronouns, but because you’re intentionally being a jerk. The same goes for slurs, personal attacks, etc.

          It turns out that I’ve seen a lot of stupid comments from users from hexbear, but that’s potentially because those users are really easy to spot due to the unique username format. Regardless, I think it’s a stupid instance rule, and I reflexively skip past those posts because I haven’t seen any good posts (subjective obviously) from a user from that instance.

      • Honestly striving for gender neutral language is great but we found that people would use gender neutral pronouns to avoid people’s preferred pronouns which is - at minimum - sus as fuck if not outright bigoted behaviour which we don’t tolerate. We see ourselves as a community, and as such are made of people who have various preferences. Since we see each other as people we all want to respect each other properly when addressing each other, thats why we all have our pronouns in our names.

  • Rom@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    That seems to be the case. I see Hexbear on sh.itjust.works’s list of federated instances but sh.itjust.works doesn’t appear on Hexbear’s list. It would have to be fixed on Hexbear’s side.

    Also the libs in this thread shaking in their boots over Hexbear will never not be funny.

    • boogetyboo@aussie.zone
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      1 year ago

      When you realise you’re a meme-grade stereotype, don’t you feel a little…small? And sad? Especially when the opposition you meet doesn’t fit the stereotype you’ve projected on them? Because that means you’re playing fantasy role-playing with yourself. Which must be a bit lonely?

      • Rom@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        Wait are you talking about Hexbear users or the people scared of them? Because honestly this is a better fit for the people who are constantly mad about Hexbear.

          • Rom@lemm.ee
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            1 year ago

            Okay then it’s just funny because you all are the ones pissing your pants every time the name Hexbear comes up in conversation, but I guess Hexbear are actually the ones who are small and sad and projecting stereotypes or whatever. The fact that your weird little description is a way better fit for yourselves than the Hexbear users you are trying to insult is hilarious nuclear-grade cognitive dissonance.

            I mean so far I’m the only one here who at least tried to answer OP’s question.

            • boogetyboo@aussie.zone
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              1 year ago

              I have formed my opinion on hexbear not as a general feeling, but that in every single post there are multiple dickheads, being dickheads with hexbear in their usernames.

              That’s entirely it. I’m not here enough to care about how Federation works or the different instances, but one thing is very recent and very consistent - hexbear wankers being tools and ruining the threads.

              And they all, also consistently, go on about triggering the libs and living rent free, and every other cliche. It’s identical to the Maga nuts vs literally everyone else. They project their own feverish support identity onto a perceived opposition, assuming that Democrat supporters are frothing at the mouth in the same way. An invented enemy with invented characteristics that they feel entitled to act disgracefully against.

              It’s the same but with the same memes being posted over and over. ‘yourselves’ - mate I’m not part of a side, or a club, or a group - I’m just a person on here occasionally trying to read things and have reasonable discussions, and everyone who comments here with hexbear in their usernames seem to be 14 year old edgelords. It’s all very predictable and very annoying.

              • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works
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                1 year ago

                I agree. But at least they out themselves by including their pronouns in their username, so I can easily just skip over their posts. Pronouns should never be necessary on the Internet, especially on an “anonymous” platform like lemmy. Just use they/them or structure your comment in a gender neutral way and you’re golden.

                So I don’t think so need to defederate, we can just ignore them as is. If they cause actual problems, sure, defederate.

              • Rom@lemm.ee
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                1 year ago

                It’s weird, because in this thread I see a bunch of dickheads being dickheads, projecting all sorts of toxic behavior onto others, yet I don’t see a single Hexbear user here. OP just asked a question about how federation worked, and a whole bunch of you (yes, that includes you) took it upon yourselves to start frothing at the mouth about how much you hate Hexbear without so much as addressing the question they asked. Do you think that is reasonable discussion, all things considered?

                An invented enemy with invented characteristics that they feel entitled to act disgracefully against.

                Holy fucking shit, absolutely zero self awareness lmao. Like goddamn, maybe take a step back and examine the kind of things that you are writing before you start slinging shit around, yeah? If you want to have reasonable discussions, then start acting like reasonable people.

                • boogetyboo@aussie.zone
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                  1 year ago

                  Shhh honey, you’re getting real riled up about a few comments on a website. It’s bad for your heart.