I’m pushing half a century in an industry that is not kind to old guys. I try to fend it off but every now and then it hits me. I’m pretty sure this is not unique to my life experience, or it wouldn’t have a term :-)
I’m pushing half a century in an industry that is not kind to old guys. I try to fend it off but every now and then it hits me. I’m pretty sure this is not unique to my life experience, or it wouldn’t have a term :-)
For me it’s probably a once or twice occurrence every month. I usually have an episode as I’m going to sleep, but I have had my moments during the day while I’m meant to be relaxed. I worry about my future, I think about any number of my mistakes. I’ll fixate on how I’ll never get to enjoy enough as there is simply too many possibilities and so little time and ability to enjoy. There are things I could’ve experienced today that I’ll never be able to experience in the future. In my worst episodes, my heart is pounding so hard in my chest and head that I worry of having a heart attack. The only real solution I’ve found to calm down is to distract myself with mental stimulation, something enjoyable or contemplative. There have been episodes so powerful I wasn’t able to get sleep even after spending hours distracting myself.