• foggy@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I think you’re perhaps ignoring what I said about the content of her entries.

    She suffered from her actions, emotionally. A lot. It’s quite clear she got nothing positive emotionally from it:

    "I am evil I did this”.

    The note added: “I don’t deserve to live. I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough to care for them.

    “I am a horrible person.

    “I hate myself. There are no words. I am an awful person. I pay every day for that.”

    “I panic I’ll never have children. I don’t deserve mum and dad. The world is better off without me. I did this, why me.”

    “No one will ever know what happened and why . . . I’m a failure.”

    “I am a problem to those who do know me . . . it would be much better for everyone if I just went away. I just want to be happy.”

    “Kill me” and “Help me” along with the names of some the babies she murdered.

    In one, Letby scrawled: “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live like this.

    “No one will ever understand or appreciate what’s like.”

    • SocialMediaRefugee@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      She got something out of it though. No one was forcing her to do it so regardless of her entries at the moment of choice she wanted to do it. She may have felt regret or self-hate after the fact but it is clear that those feelings eventually passed.

      • pankuleczkapl@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1 year ago

        Regret or self-hate can just as well turn into driving factors to continue doing harm to others. When you are mentally ill, logic starts completely bending and finally making a 180 degrees turn from normal