• whoareu@lemmy.ca
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    5 months ago

    I find it weird when people are happy and successful in their life. I don’t know. I can’t bear it :( I am like “how? how this PhD professor is so happy and calm and confident”. I guess I am just a weird person

    • unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de
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      5 months ago

      Maybe your understanding of “successfull” is twisted. Earning enough to not worry about money is all that you need to be successfull imo. But i guess many are not fortunate enough to have that.

      • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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        5 months ago

        The problem is if you earn that money doing something you hate, you’ll very often find that no amount of money is enough to compensate for your loss of happiness. The trick is finding a way to earn enough money not to have to worry while doing something you enjoy (or at least can tolerate) doing.

          • MacN'Cheezus@lemmy.today
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            5 months ago

            I’m glad to hear that and I wish you all the best. The world can certainly use more happy and fulfilled people right now.

    • notabot@lemm.ee
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      5 months ago

      Remember to look after yourself. When you’re already calm and happy within yourself it’s easier to be ‘successful’ in whatever you’re trying to do without burning out, which makes it easier to be calm and happy, creating a positive spiral.

      That professor who is happy, calm and confident? He’s had a great weekend skiing/hiking/playing with the kids or grandkids/generally looking after themselves by unwinding and enjoying themselves. He’s calm because his mind is clear and he has the energy he needs to work and confident because he knows he’s good at what he does and trusts himself. That might not be your professor exactly, but they’re examples from profs I’ve had in the past.

      Do yourself a favor, take half an hour out today and do something positive to improve your own well-being. Take a walk somewhere green, write a list of all the things you need to do that are bothering you, contact a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while just to say hi, if you’ve got some slack time in your week see if there’s some voluntry work you could enjoy doing, start learning a new skill. Just pick something and do it, even if you’d rather be sitting in a dark corner ignoring the world. Keep doing it. Things can and will get better if you push them in that direction. Good luck!

      • FrostyCaveman@lemm.ee
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        5 months ago

        It’s not just wealth that “success” refers to, it also includes social expectations (both from within and from others). At least that’s how I see it

    • partial_accumen@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      “how? how this PhD professor is so happy and calm and confident”.

      • A person can be talented in a specific job area
      • A person can enjoy working a specific job area
      • There are some jobs that pay well enough to live happily on

      There are people, through sheer genetic luck and general luck to be born in the right place and time in history, that they have all three.

      I guess I am just a weird person

      You’re not weird. I think it is rare to have all three. Even someone that has only two will likely be called “unhappy”. You are NOT to blame for not having all three. Its just luck.