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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • Not as severe as the actual condition, however when one of my childhood cats was hit by a car, I tried to check her pulse and blood splurted from her ear onto my hand. For several years afterwards I would constantly wash my hands, moreso when I was stressed/anxious. I would wash them with soap, then wash them again. Sometimes I would dry them, and then go back to wash them again.
    Psychedelics helped me realise the fear of ‘always having her blood on my hands’, in a very serious and confrontational manner to my trauma. It’s difficult to explain the mental journey to rewire the habit away, though ultimately I began to understand an aspect of my plight as a source to the action.