lobsticle 🦞

As an old Perl jockey, you can pry my backticks out of my cold, dead hands.

Actually, these are fucking great. Super outsidery. I’d buy but want to make sure the kids get the bulk of the profits, not the teacher.

There are fine edible products that you could ingest which would have a similar effect without the need to smoke or vaporize it.

I wonder if they’re a publicly traded company. Given the choice between this company trying to compete in the marketplace against Apple versus a guaranteed revenue stream from licensing and royalty fees (and likely a lucrative one at that), I’m pretty sure I know which the shareholders would pick. If this company ends up doing the former and going under, I can just smell the shareholder lawsuit that would ensue.

After School Satan Club would be such a great name for a band.

The Wang Gang strikes again!

My bad, I just naturally assume everyone knows of this amazing commercial. Go to Google or YouTube and search “Folgers incest” or “Folgers brother sister” and enjoy!

And your brother surprising you by coming home for Christmas from the Peace Corps and getting to fuck him

We need to find out what churches folks like this are being indoctrinated in and forcibly shut them down.

Very disappointing not to see an #if 0 (my personal go-to for decades) in this meme. 😞

The text in the image represents how accurate it tends to be whenever I try to OCR a document.

I am also interested in the answer to this and which service the author is using.

Sundar Pichai would like to know your location

Love it. Learned so much as a teenager about what was healthy and normal from her radio show in the 80s.

This is fantastic work, and anybody who downvoted this clearly did not get it.

This is good too.

I thought OP was looking for minced oaths that could be used in its place, and this is the first thing that came to mind for me. I use this one all the time because I try not to drop the big one around my five- and three-year-olds.

Paul Simon has so many hard-hitting lyrics across his entire catalog. I’m sure I could find something from just about any album, but for me, what comes instantly to mind is this line from “The Cool, Cool River”: “And sometimes, even music/ Cannot substitute for tears”.

This is one of the stupidest things I’ve seen online in a very long time, and of course I laughed for a solid minute. Well done, OP.

Bystander: She’s apneic and has no pulse! I’m beginning CPR!

Commences compressions

Patient: Uh actually I have a boyfriend