BEANS

Addictive carbs and salt, dirt cheap, and healthy as shit. Also convenient and compatible with most dietary/ethical restrictions.

If you learn to like beans when you’re 20 and throw it into an index fund, you’ll have a modest retirement fund just on the money you saved (yes, I calculated it based on money saved and growth of the S&P).

And not even a real internet forum with some connection to the world, like a forum for engineers or something, but just these generic cat video style forums that don’t really add huge value to anyone’s life. Your entire existence is to fill the 30-second void for people standing in elevators.

That is an objectively sad life. Imagine people asking what you did with your life and your answer is “I had imaginary power on a now-defunct internet site doing unpaid work day in and day out. I spent hours upon hours of my life creating charts that only apply in this digital universe to make myself feel important while people who scrolled my page for five minutes a day on the subway were out doing things in the real world”.