So everyone here is saying fuck anon and I agree, but I agree because they are aware of it and intentionally doing things on purpose to exacerbate the situation.
But like, if you’re a physically larger dude (maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin), and you’ve got to walk behind a woman at 2am… it’s just a shitty situation for both people, where both of you feel like you have to do something you shouldn’t have to do (women feeling the need to run, defend themselves, or cry for help, and men feeling the need to change their route, stand around and wait until she leaves, or do something awkward and potentially more scary like announce their presence).
I’m definitely not advocating for women to be less cautious on the streets at night or anything like that at all, it’s an unfortunate reality that they need to stay vigilant and aware to remain safe. It just really sucks that the way it comes across a lot of the time does little to protect anyone from any actual harm, and just makes normal people feel like shit for making someone feel like they’re about to get raped.
As a physically large man who used to work a job that meant he was walking home late at night in the city, just cross the road to overtake. If you’re walking that much faster than the other person, you will overtake pretty soon.
Shit, I cross the road to overtake because I’m a smoker and don’t want to inconvenience non-smokers with my addiction. Never even crossed my mind that may make people feel safer.
Thank you. As that vice gets rarer, the impact on other of the smell is worse and worse. It’s not my business if you choose that vice but I appreciate any effort not to inflict it on the rest of us
Double thanks, many of us also don’t appreciate that smell either. In some cases it smells worse. It took a surprising number of years for my kids to be able to distinguish weed from skunk, when they were little
I also do that as a smoker! I doubt I’m very intimidating tho, so it’s just to make sure I’m not bothering people with my smoke. Bonus if it makes them more comfortable for other reasons.
Hear hear! As a bigger guy with a faster pace, I have yet to find a way that doesn’t make everyone uncomfortable while also making me frustrated as hell because I can’t walk at my own pace.
Even worse, I’m probably walking with my dog, who likes an even faster pace, and she’s a rescue who looks scary and isn’t yet well behaved
Wear a reflective vest. It makes it obvious you’re just trying to safely walk your dog, makes you less likely to be hit by a car and signals safety because dangerous people don’t usually want to be conspicuous
If it makes you feel any better, a large person walking with a scary dog seems much less likely to be a psychopath than just a large person by themselves (to me, at least).
Obviously not to say that large people are psychopaths 😂 just that someone with an animal they’re caring for doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to attack me.
I think (as a white dude, so take your grains of salt as you please) that a dog would make you less threatening. Makes it clearer what you’re up to, and people bringing their dogs along to mug or rape someone is exceedingly rare.
If you’re a big guy and you find yourself walking behind a woman at 2am AND, unlike anon, you‘re not a complete sociopath, you have two options in a nutshell. One, you move your ass and overtake, walking fast. Two, you change the side of the road. Both minor inconveniences.
just not changing pace is good enough in my opinion, that makes it look like he was actually chasing her
if he takes the same road and she is scared it’s more of a she problem since he’s just going home
imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what’s right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future
imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what’s right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future
Ah yes, why didn’t my parents or their grandparents think to teach their kids that rape and murder is wrong!? It’s all so clear now!!!
I think some people do fucked up shit regardless of what they’re taught and it requires a solution that’s slightly more complex than “just teach the kids right and wrong”.
Whilst I strongly encourage good parenting, you could have the most fucked up parents imaginable and still easily be able to understand why rape and murder isn’t a benefit to society.
Doesn’t have to be women, I’ve accidentally startled dudes as well. Being a pretty broad and tall dude I usually only keep my size in mind to keep out of the way or make sure I don’t bump into things or hit my head on stuff.
But when I think about it, of course it would be intimidating to run across someone a foot and a half taller and twice your weight. It would be like me being tailed by Shaq in the middle of the night.
Awesome! According to me, the person I was talking about, “being cursed with a hint melanin” is an obvious in-joke to other black or mixed people. I’ll keep describing myself however I like, and you do the same!
A curse is a condition that bestows a disadvantage. Being black is not a curse in and of itself, but being black + being in any one of many places around the world today is definitely a curse-esque combination due to racism.
I roll with disadvantage every time I try to avoid people being offended on my behalf for comments I make about myself. Such is my curse as a sarcastic biracial man in modern America.
this doesn’t just go on gender lines either. i am tall and broad and probably scare people, especially women, in the dark. i hope my appearance at least protects me from being assaulted as well… no one asks for ur gender, when they see u walking around at night.
I’ve never even considered this perspective before. It’s frustrating enough for guys to get lumped in with shitty guys, but to be a woman lumped in with shitty guys, that’s gotta be aggravating as hell.
I’d wager you’re probably right, though; you’ve probably got a better buffer against weirdos than a dainty little flower might.
So everyone here is saying fuck anon and I agree, but I agree because they are aware of it and intentionally doing things on purpose to exacerbate the situation.
But like, if you’re a physically larger dude (maybe even cursed with a hint of melanin), and you’ve got to walk behind a woman at 2am… it’s just a shitty situation for both people, where both of you feel like you have to do something you shouldn’t have to do (women feeling the need to run, defend themselves, or cry for help, and men feeling the need to change their route, stand around and wait until she leaves, or do something awkward and potentially more scary like announce their presence).
I’m definitely not advocating for women to be less cautious on the streets at night or anything like that at all, it’s an unfortunate reality that they need to stay vigilant and aware to remain safe. It just really sucks that the way it comes across a lot of the time does little to protect anyone from any actual harm, and just makes normal people feel like shit for making someone feel like they’re about to get raped.
As a physically large man who used to work a job that meant he was walking home late at night in the city, just cross the road to overtake. If you’re walking that much faster than the other person, you will overtake pretty soon.
Shit, I cross the road to overtake because I’m a smoker and don’t want to inconvenience non-smokers with my addiction. Never even crossed my mind that may make people feel safer.
Thank you. As that vice gets rarer, the impact on other of the smell is worse and worse. It’s not my business if you choose that vice but I appreciate any effort not to inflict it on the rest of us
I’m crossing the street because weed is illegal and I want people to think it’s tobacco.
Double thanks, many of us also don’t appreciate that smell either. In some cases it smells worse. It took a surprising number of years for my kids to be able to distinguish weed from skunk, when they were little
I also do that as a smoker! I doubt I’m very intimidating tho, so it’s just to make sure I’m not bothering people with my smoke. Bonus if it makes them more comfortable for other reasons.
Lmao @ someone actually switching sides.
Hear hear! As a bigger guy with a faster pace, I have yet to find a way that doesn’t make everyone uncomfortable while also making me frustrated as hell because I can’t walk at my own pace.
Even worse, I’m probably walking with my dog, who likes an even faster pace, and she’s a rescue who looks scary and isn’t yet well behaved
talk to your dog
Wear a reflective vest. It makes it obvious you’re just trying to safely walk your dog, makes you less likely to be hit by a car and signals safety because dangerous people don’t usually want to be conspicuous
Maybe if you skipped?
That would be hilarious …. I’m not sure I remember how.
If it makes you feel any better, a large person walking with a scary dog seems much less likely to be a psychopath than just a large person by themselves (to me, at least).
Obviously not to say that large people are psychopaths 😂 just that someone with an animal they’re caring for doesn’t strike me as someone who is going to attack me.
No fair! My cat is at home, so you can’t see me snuggle her little face.
Well, who’s fault is that now, really?
Nobody’s, cat just don’t like walks. I can show pics though if you’ll just stop running!
I think (as a white dude, so take your grains of salt as you please) that a dog would make you less threatening. Makes it clearer what you’re up to, and people bringing their dogs along to mug or rape someone is exceedingly rare.
Just yell to her you’re not going to rape her. Problem solved.
“I’m not gonna rape you, I’m a little boy”
If you’re a big guy and you find yourself walking behind a woman at 2am AND, unlike anon, you‘re not a complete sociopath, you have two options in a nutshell. One, you move your ass and overtake, walking fast. Two, you change the side of the road. Both minor inconveniences.
just not changing pace is good enough in my opinion, that makes it look like he was actually chasing her
if he takes the same road and she is scared it’s more of a she problem since he’s just going home
imo the solution is just not to do anything sketchy, and teach younger people what’s right and wrong, so that the problem can get solved with a better society in the future
Ah yes, why didn’t my parents or their grandparents think to teach their kids that rape and murder is wrong!? It’s all so clear now!!!
If the current state of America is any indication, plenty of people didn’t teach their kids that
I think some people do fucked up shit regardless of what they’re taught and it requires a solution that’s slightly more complex than “just teach the kids right and wrong”.
Whilst I strongly encourage good parenting, you could have the most fucked up parents imaginable and still easily be able to understand why rape and murder isn’t a benefit to society.
Doesn’t have to be women, I’ve accidentally startled dudes as well. Being a pretty broad and tall dude I usually only keep my size in mind to keep out of the way or make sure I don’t bump into things or hit my head on stuff.
But when I think about it, of course it would be intimidating to run across someone a foot and a half taller and twice your weight. It would be like me being tailed by Shaq in the middle of the night.
That euphemism is a lot worse than just saying “black”.
I prefer “of coloredness”
According to…?
me. That’s my opinion. Being black is not a curse.
Awesome! According to me, the person I was talking about, “being cursed with a hint melanin” is an obvious in-joke to other black or mixed people. I’ll keep describing myself however I like, and you do the same!
A curse is a condition that bestows a disadvantage. Being black is not a curse in and of itself, but being black + being in any one of many places around the world today is definitely a curse-esque combination due to racism.
I roll with disadvantage every time I try to avoid people being offended on my behalf for comments I make about myself. Such is my curse as a sarcastic biracial man in modern America.
Maybe you weren’t sarcastic? Stop being so judgemental.
I’m not being judgemental. I literally told you to continue using and disliking words as you saw fit. You’re the only one that seems upset.
You’re not as good at sarcasm as you think. That’s irony by the way.
this doesn’t just go on gender lines either. i am tall and broad and probably scare people, especially women, in the dark. i hope my appearance at least protects me from being assaulted as well… no one asks for ur gender, when they see u walking around at night.
I’ve never even considered this perspective before. It’s frustrating enough for guys to get lumped in with shitty guys, but to be a woman lumped in with shitty guys, that’s gotta be aggravating as hell.
I’d wager you’re probably right, though; you’ve probably got a better buffer against weirdos than a dainty little flower might.